THE PSYCHOLOGICAL CHANGES: MATURITY
To some extent the ease with which he adjusts depends on the security and confidence he has obtained during his childhood years, from his parents and other people. To some extent it depends on the attitude of his parents to his quest for his unique identity. If his parents are autocratic or authoritarian, they will oppose any attempt the youth makes to express his own views and to make his own decisions. This reaction may be because one parent (usually the father) had a difficult adolescence and has suppressed his own awareness of his turbulence at that time. He has retreated into a belief that he always knows best, and that his values are the only ones which his child must adopt. In a rigid society, this approach is possible, but in our pluralistic, mobile society it can create grave problems, particularly when the adolescent compares his lot with that of his friends, whose parents treat their children more as equals. The comparison may lead to deep anxieties and stresses.
The reverse is also true. If the parents either ignore the adolescent’s behaviour, or offer only minimal guidance, anxiety and guilt can result, as the adolescent is unsure whether or not he is behaving in a way of which his parents would approve. The most satisfactory way in which parents can behave to enable the adolescent to find his identity is for them to be able to discuss issues about the youth’s behaviour, openly and easily. In this way the adolescent can find if his decisions meet with the approval of his parents and if they do not, why not.
If the parents act in an authoritarian way, the adolescent may cease to seek his own identity, modeling himself completely on his father. In this event he may find, later, that he has a confused identity, and is less well able to relate to others. The alternative is for the adolescent to rebel, and to reject all that his parents hold as conventionally proper. If he chooses this course, he may also be hindered in forming his identity, or he may be so confused that his identity goes through multiple changes until he finally finds the one with which he is comfortable.
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