SOCIAL PRESSURES AND RESPONSIBILITIES DURING ADOLESCENCE – II
As adolescents, we also learn a lot of gender stereotypes—what supposedly is right or wrong for girls and boys to do. We feel a lot of pressure about our gender. We try to conform to our society’s gender stereotypes. On the next page is a list of positively valued stereotypes that are supposed to be true of women and men.
Of course, these are all characteristics that women and men both possess, but there is a lot of pressure on us as teenagers to fulfill one or the other of these stereotyped roles. We are expected to look feminine or masculine, and we are expected to act that way as well.
As adolescents, we tend to form instant judgments about people’s femininity or masculinity on obvious or subtle characteristics, like the way they dress, their hairstyle, or their body language. We develop a lot of our expectations about female and male behavior at home as we observe who does what chores, who takes care of the children, who makes decisions, who brings home the paycheck, and who decides what’s done with it.
Dating is one of the crucial gender pressures we experience as teens. We live in a predominantly heterosexual world, and when we reach our teen years, we are expected to be attracted to, pursue, and date the other gender.
Sexual decision making may become a part of dating for older teens. Not only are we pressured to date, we are also pressured to have sex. Sometimes saying no to sex can be really difficult. We worry what it means about us. Does it mean that we do not love our partners? Does it mean we are not feminine or masculine enough? Does it mean we are not sexually desirable? There are probably few experiences in our lives, whether we are adults or teenagers, that can be as exciting and anxiety-ridden as making decisions about when to have our first sexual intercourse.
These are very real questions for us as teenagers. Many of us also believe sexual myths like the ones listed below.
• Having sex makes one become adult.
• Having sex proves love is real.
• “No” really means “yes.”
• People can’t enjoy sex if they use condoms.
• HIV can’t happen to me.
Adults also have myths about teenagers and sex. Many believe that if teenagers are given information about their sexuality, they are more likely to have sex earlier than other teens. Actually, the opposite is true. Teenagers who receive information about their sexuality are more likely to delay their first intercourse.
On the next page are some worthwhile questions to ask about ourselves, our partners, our families, and our friends before we decide to have sex with someone else.
Being a sexual person during our adolescent and teen years carries with it a certain amount of responsibility. We are not only accountable for ourselves but are also accountable for anyone with whom we may be sexually intimate. We must be knowledgeable about contraception and sexually transmitted infections. We must come to understand what it means to make emotional commitments to another person. Being able to communicate and make decisions together can make these experiences more rewarding and much healthier for both partners.
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