SEX IN ASEXUAL ENVIRONMENTS
“Are we there yet?” Not quite. Our sexual journey is never quite over. To remain on course, we may have to make adaptations at various times of our lives.
At some time in our lives, we may live in environments that can be considered asexual. These environments include hospitals, prisons, the military, and religious organizations. Privacy is a major concern in these environments. So is the role of celibacy.
In a prison, privacy is a privilege. Masturbation might be the only option for sexual expression. Some people might refrain from all sexual expression in that environment. Others may turn to homosexual relationships. Straight women and men in prison may have sex with others of the same gender to satisfy their need for human physical contact. Most will return to having sex with the other gender after they are released. Same-gender rape is one of the risks of prison life.
Sexual expression may also be limited in the military Privacy is also scarce, and masturbation must be accomplished quietly There is often personal leave time off of the base that can allow for sexual expression. Some military people are married and have the privilege of living with their spouses on the military base. Other people in relationships can see partners or spouses periodically when they are on leave.
Sexual diversity in military life can be difficult. Currently, the military cannot ask personnel whether they are homosexual. However, if someone’s homosexuality is revealed, there is a great chance that person will receive a dishonorable discharge. Although homosexual activity is against the military code of conduct, significant numbers of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people are enlisted, or want to enlist. Each must make a personal decision about the level of risk she or he is willing to take to serve the country.
Religious life is also a unique sexual environment. Many religious people take vows of chastity or celibacy. This means that they promise not to be sexually active. But this does not mean that religious people are not sexual. Celibacy is one of the many ways we can express sexuality. Although difficult for most women and men, celibacy can be a personally rewarding and insightful way of life. Celibate women and men may enjoy deeply intimate, nonsexual relationships with others.
We know that sexual repression can cause mental health problems. It may seem ironic, then, that sexual expression is usually repressed in mental health settings. Partnered sex play, same-sex erotic attachments, and masturbation are all forbidden in most long-term, mental health care facilities. Romantic attachments between women and men are often ridiculed and discouraged. Moreover, many of the mood-altering medications used in these settings decrease sexual desire and arousal among the residents.
We need to remember that the mentally ill are also entitled to sexual expression, access to birth control, and safer-sex information. If it becomes necessary for friends or members of our families to spend long periods of time in institutional settings, we can try to evaluate those settings for humane and enlightened attitudes toward human sexuality.
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