Pharmahealthblog. Health and medical information

“Are we there yet?” Not quite. Our sexual journey is never quite over. To remain on course, we may have to make adaptations at various times of our lives.

At some time in our lives, we may live in environments that can be considered asexual. These environments include hospitals, prisons, the military, and religious organizations. Privacy is a major concern in these environments. So is the role of celibacy.

In a prison, privacy is a privilege. Masturbation might be the only option for sexual expression. Some people might refrain from all sexual expression in that environment. Others may turn to homosexual relationships. Straight women and men in prison may have sex with others of the same gender to satisfy their need for human physical contact. Most will return to having sex with the other gender after they are released. Same-gender rape is one of the risks of prison life.

Sexual expression may also be limited in the military Privacy is also scarce, and masturbation must be accomplished quietly There is often personal leave time off of the base that can allow for sexual expression. Some military people are married and have the privilege of living with their spouses on the military base. Other people in relationships can see partners or spouses periodically when they are on leave.

Sexual diversity in military life can be difficult. Currently, the military cannot ask personnel whether they are homosexual. However, if someone’s homosexuality is revealed, there is a great chance that person will receive a dishonorable discharge. Although homosexual activity is against the military code of conduct, significant numbers of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people are enlisted, or want to enlist. Each must make a personal decision about the level of risk she or he is willing to take to serve the country.

Emotional Changes during Midlife

As adolescents, many of us were very anxious about the changes in our bodies. We wondered if the changes were okay and if we were normal. In midlife, we have those anxieties all over again.

We worry if our bodies are still attractive. We may develop performance anxiety. Men may become anxious about developing problems with their erections. These problems can be magnified by stress over money, ill health, career, sexual boredom, fatigue, or excessive drinking. One partner may blame herself or himself if the other is having problems. We can feel that we are no longer desirable or sexually attractive.

The slowing down of the sexual response cycle in women and men is natural. This slowdown may also make us anxious. But we may not feel as anxious if we understand that sex is a vital part of the lives of most middle-aged women and men. In fact, middle-aged women often have strong sexual desires, and they are more likely to reach an orgasm than younger women.

Women and men both report that midlife sexuality can bring a whole new world of sexual satisfaction: They have less fear of unintended pregnancy. Their children are likely to have left home, giving the older parents more privacy. They may even have financial freedom.

One of the biggest decisions we make in our adult years is whether or not to have a child. Deciding to have children brings with it a huge responsibility for another’s life. How to be a parent is not something that we learned in school. Most of what we learn about parenting we learn from our own parents. We really do not get a lot of formal training.

We need to know about equality, health care, discipline, understanding behavior, dealing with anger, praising, setting limits, and belonging—whether or not we were taught them by our parents! Becoming a parent is a life-altering decision that should be considered very carefully.

Being pregnant can have a big impact on a woman’s sexuality. Her sexual desire may increase or decrease while she is pregnant. It can vary from month to month or day to day. Hormone levels are constantly changing. In the first trimester, nausea, breast tenderness, and fatigue may make a woman less interested in having sex. In the second trimester, she may have increased sexual desire because her body is adjusting and becoming more balanced. Overall, there is a general decrease in sexual interest throughout pregnancy, with the lowest interest in the third trimester.

If a pregnancy is proceeding normally and the woman is healthy, health care providers will generally advise that sexual intercourse can safely be enjoyed up until the last four weeks of pregnancy. Sexual intercourse should be discontinued immediately if the woman experiences vaginal bleeding, abdominal pain, or any other symptom of miscarriage, or if her water breaks.

Experimenting with your partner will allow you to figure out which sexual positions are most comfortable. It may be necessary to find or modify some positions. The so-called missionary position of man on top may be uncomfortable if you are pregnant. Side by side, woman on top, and rear entry might prove to be more comfortable. Oral sex and manual genital stimulation as well as touching each other’s body and holding may also be satisfying. Condoms should be used to prevent sexually transmitted infections if either partner has been diagnosed with one.

Intimacy, eroticism, and sexual satisfaction can increase and continue during pregnancy. Being sensitive to and aware of a woman’s changing body and feelings, as well as accepting the need for adjustment, can add excitement to your sexual relationship.

Why do some pregnant women enjoy sex and others don’t? A decrease in sexual interest can be caused by physical discomfort during sex, feeling big and unattractive, or fear of hurting the fetus. Later in the pregnancy, an increased awareness of the fetus can make sex feel like a gathering of too many people!

Some women become more sexual during pregnancy. They may feel more womanly and less inhibited. The heightened awareness of their bodies can increase their sensuality. During pregnancy, there is increased flow of blood to the genitals. This increase can heighten sexual desire and response for some women.

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The emotional and mental changes that take place in young adulthood are probably going to be more noticeable than the physical ones. Decisions about careers, living arrangements, and relationships become important. Our educational needs will also change.

One of the biggest concerns we have as young adults is our living arrangements. We usually remain living at home with our parents until we are financially able to have our own apartment or house.

Being a sexual adult while still living at home can have some drawbacks. When we enter adulthood and begin having intimate relationships with others, it may be difficult to express our sexuality when we know our parents are in the house!

Families have to get together and establish ground rules about privacy at home. Every member of the family can express what will allow her or him to be comfortable. Families may want to consider the risks young people take to have sex outside the home.

Sex in parked cars and other public places can lead to dangerous or humiliating situations. If being sexual at home is against the rules, then other solutions can be found. The partner’s home may be more appropriate. If neither home is an option, finding our own place might become necessary.

Living alone may offer great potential for personal fulfillment. We may have greater opportunities to travel, entertain, relax, pursue hobbies, and explore our own individualities. Maintaining independence and learning how to be a responsible person are additional benefits. The privacy of living alone enables us to be sexually active, if we choose, without the concerns of being in our parents’ home. But living alone—whether by choice or necessity—can also be difficult and lonely.

If living alone is not appealing or practical, sharing a home with a roommate may be the solution. People of the same or other gender can share housing. Roommates can provide companionship and share the costs of the home. They should establish ground rules regarding privacy and houseguests from the start.

As infants, children, and adolescents, we have emotional needs that must be met. We need affection, caring, and education. As adults, we still have these needs. These emotional needs are met through various people in our lives. We still receive and need love and affection from family. Our friends are also very important to us. But as adults, we find ourselves making new friends and forming new relationships that are unconnected to our families or the friendships of our childhood.

Not all of us make new friends when we become adults. Some young adults choose to avoid intimate relationships. They may fear taking risks with their emotions because of some past hurt, or they may be concerned with other changing parts of their lives, such as their careers or their changing relationship with their families.

As adolescents, we also learn a lot of gender stereotypes—what supposedly is right or wrong for girls and boys to do. We feel a lot of pressure about our gender. We try to conform to our society’s gender stereotypes. On the next page is a list of positively valued stereotypes that are supposed to be true of women and men.

Of course, these are all characteristics that women and men both possess, but there is a lot of pressure on us as teenagers to fulfill one or the other of these stereotyped roles. We are expected to look feminine or masculine, and we are expected to act that way as well.

As adolescents, we tend to form instant judgments about people’s femininity or masculinity on obvious or subtle characteristics, like the way they dress, their hairstyle, or their body language. We develop a lot of our expectations about female and male behavior at home as we observe who does what chores, who takes care of the children, who makes decisions, who brings home the paycheck, and who decides what’s done with it.

Dating is one of the crucial gender pressures we experience as teens. We live in a predominantly heterosexual world, and when we reach our teen years, we are expected to be attracted to, pursue, and date the other gender.

Sexual decision making may become a part of dating for older teens. Not only are we pressured to date, we are also pressured to have sex. Sometimes saying no to sex can be really difficult. We worry what it means about us. Does it mean that we do not love our partners? Does it mean we are not feminine or masculine enough? Does it mean we are not sexually desirable? There are probably few experiences in our lives, whether we are adults or teenagers, that can be as exciting and anxiety-ridden as making decisions about when to have our first sexual intercourse.

These are very real questions for us as teenagers. Many of us also believe sexual myths like the ones listed below.

• Having sex makes one become adult.

• Having sex proves love is real.

• “No” really means “yes.”

• People can’t enjoy sex if they use condoms.

• HIV can’t happen to me.

Adults also have myths about teenagers and sex. Many believe that if teenagers are given information about their sexuality, they are more likely to have sex earlier than other teens. Actually, the opposite is true. Teenagers who receive information about their sexuality are more likely to delay their first intercourse.

On the next page are some worthwhile questions to ask about ourselves, our partners, our families, and our friends before we decide to have sex with someone else.

Being a sexual person during our adolescent and teen years carries with it a certain amount of responsibility. We are not only accountable for ourselves but are also accountable for anyone with whom we may be sexually intimate. We must be knowledgeable about contraception and sexually transmitted infections. We must come to understand what it means to make emotional commitments to another person. Being able to communicate and make decisions together can make these experiences more rewarding and much healthier for both partners.

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